Thursday, May 20, 2010

How do you express in a wedding inviation that money is preferred, rather than gifts?

We want to ask our guests to give money as a gift to us on our wedding day. We've lived together for 5 years and we have everything we need from a house hold perspective. We want $$ to do renovations/travel etc.

How do you express in a wedding inviation that money is preferred, rather than gifts?
Well ask for gift cards. Ask for specific gift cards like to Home depot and other household places where you want to buy something. Or register for travel related gifts (towards your honeymoon). Do register for some appliances and gifts you want because some people can't afford much so they don't want to give only 80 bucks or less in an envelope, but would rather get an 80 dollar gift and wrap it.


So put something like "monetary gifts and gift cards welcomed" and also include stores you have registered at and list off stores you would like "home depot", etc. Plan on getting some actual gifts so it is best to register so you get what you actually want. Don't put it ON the invitation. Put a little piece of paper in with the return/ reply card or print "monetary gifts appreciated" on the reply card.
Reply:Just say on the bottom simply that you would prefer money for your house renovations instead of gifts. People will not be offended and it will save them work because they wont have to go out and buy a gift.
Reply:Unfortunately you don't. The only thing to do is get the word out before hand and register at place like Lowe's, Home Depot......
Reply:Gifts are never requested, that is bad form. People generally do give gifts as a customary way of saying congratulations, but you should never request gifts of any kind. That is why you should never list where you are registered if you are. Word of mouth will get your message across. When friends and family ask you or your parents where you are registered that is when they will hear that you are not, indicating that if a gift is given, you would prefer money. You do not get married to renovate your house, that is something you should do on your own!
Reply:A gift is entirely up to the giver. If something is owed to you, then you have the right to demand in what form it is given.





However, you could say something to the effect (not on the invitation) that you are doing home renovations and have a strong desire for travel. Some will get the hint, others will not. Ultimately, again, a gift is entirely up to the giver.
Reply:You don't, because it's tacky. You graciously accept whatever gifts guests choose.
Reply:There is no real way to go about doing that...it is very rude and frowned upon by guests. The best you can do is write that no gifts are necessary...you can bet that if they're going to bring something, it will be money in that case.
Reply:Unfortunately, there is NO right way to do this. You cannot put a card with your registry information/request for $ in your invitation, that is "greedy" and "rude." Though most people know that attending a wedding means buying/bringing a gift, the idea is not supposed to come from you. I know, it's crazy. Why register if you're not supposed to tell anyone?





The trick to it is you have to tell you maid of honor/best man or parents or others in the BRIDAL PARTY (men and women) to spread the word for you. You can't go telling grandma and cousin Larry. You have to be discreet, so it doesn't seem as if it comes from you, but is what those close to you think best...





GOOD LUCK, and congratulations!
Reply:I am a coordinator, you do not put it on an invite. you can either have family and friends spread the word....or register for gifts, but not many, only things you need or would like. On the card that tells were you are registered, have printed 'monetary gifts appreciated'.
Reply:You don't. Good for you that you want cash, but you are going to have to work for and save that money yourselves!


It is just not done, to ask for money; it is tacky and rude. This has been discussed many times on this site, and I would think you had a mom/auntie/friend to have given you proper advice on this.


The people you invite to your wedding are not "obligated" to get the couple a gift. You are inviting them because you want them to witness the ceremony and celebrate the new marriage. However, most people want to bring gifts for the new couple starting out together. It's not "anyone's" fault that you put the cart before the horse and lived together before you got married and outfitted your home. THerefore, you should not be asking for money. Grow up...
Reply:Sorry, you don't.





Have your mom's get the word of mouth grapevine going, but that's all you can do.
Reply:Somehow put in the inviation that a money tree will be on site. Not sure how to word if but a friend of mine did that. He had a big xmas tree on site, and everyone put envelopes on it instead of bringing gifts. Just not sure how he worded it..
Reply:If you want the money for travel like your honeymoon, there are a number of Honeymoon registry sites like tha one I listed below. With this site, you set up your honeymoon, and people can log on and pay for a piece of it. For example.... The airfare is broken down into Units. So the airfare is $60 per unit, and you requested 20 units to pay for the flight. So one person can go in and pay for one unit or as many as they like. You can register everything from your hotel to a romantic night at a restaurant and ppl can go in and pay for the different activities for your honeymoon if they choose to do so. So in the invitation, you just put in the invitation like normal that you are registered at........ and then just give the website.





For money...... This one is a lot trickier. You NEVER ask for money. My Fiance and I were thinking about setting up a fund with a widely known bank and having that be a house fund and putting that as where we were registered, but that is still a slippery slope and I haven't quite figured out an easy way to word or it or if it is even appropriate.
Reply:You don't. It's tacky and unappreciative. Haven't you ever heard of "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"?
Reply:Its tacky tacky tacky to do that, First of all, the wedding invitation is to invite people to the event, to watch you join your lives together, not to solicit gifts. Please don't tarnish your invites with plees for gifts. This is what showers are for! You also shouldn't expect wedding gifts, as it sounds like you are doing....if a guest happens to get you something, then you should be grateful no matter what it is, becuase they took the time to pick it out and think of you. No one HAS to get you anything tho, and putting this in the invitation will make it look as if thats what you are expecting. You can't dictate what people do with their hard earned money and time, and to do what you are asking about that would be doing just that. Also, I personally would decline to give a couple anything if they told me what to give them, registering and suggesting things that will best suit them is one thing, giving me no options whatsoever would frankly piss me off. Not every guest will feel this way, but lots most likely will, so keep this in mind!





My best advice is don't register-period, people will be more apt to give you money in that case. Have family members more or less spread the word about your wishes, but you do not directly ask for money, very tasteless to do so!
Reply:Register for gift cards at Lowe's or Home Depot, and modestly request gift certificates for travel for air fares, hotels, etc. If people ask where you are registered, you can let them know about these things.
Reply:register at home improvement stores and travel agencies. But to say straight out is a no no!
Reply:say something like, donations are prefered, gifts will be given to charity
Reply:it is viewed as very bad etiquette to do that, if it was acceptable you would see it on wedding invites all the time, but because it is generally viewed as really rude, not many people do it,so there is really no nice way of asking.
Reply:You dont, its tacky!





Instead register at places like Home Depot or Lowe's (if they have a registery) and list maybe the travel agency as well when telling people where you are registered...word of mouth is also the best way to get the point across
Reply:When my niece got married a few years ago, she worked with a travel agent, and the family gave monetary donations toward their honeymoon, they went on a cruise to Greece.





Then you might want it known (verbally) that you would like gift cards from Home Depot, Lowe's or something like that.





To actually put something in writing on the invitation is tacky and in poor taste, and unfortunately so many people are doing just that now a days.
Reply:I think you can say right on the invitation something like "couple prefers cash or gift cards as opposed to gifts." Good luck and Congratulations!
Reply:I am Italian and we all get cash at are weddings because we get a dowery. What I know people have done is not register for gifts at all and just kinda spread the word around.
Reply:YOU DON'T - tacky tacky tacky !! You don't ask for gifts at all !
Reply:You can not put it on the invitation. Word of mouth is the way to go. Good luck
Reply:"WE WANT" How about you don't.


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